All those lawyer jokes just got a little funnier…

Got an email this afternoon from my attorney — seems that all owners of a property involved in a 1031 have to be on the mortgage.. One of the required people is out of the state. It took everything to not pick up the phone, conference in everyone that should’ve known this and lose my shit.

After three calls to see if Chase’s voicemail was still handling all their calls, I took a walk over, hell-bent on staying until this was resolved. Telling the mortgage broker’s secretary that I’m on my way over seems to be much more effective than leaving voicemail.

At it turns out that the original info in my lawyers email wasn’t entirely accurate. All parties involved have to be on the note, not the mortgage, the people at the bank offered to explain this to my attorney using small words and short sentences (which I took them up on).

On my way back from the bank the seller calls to get an update, which actually turned out alright, we basically just expressed our extreme dissatisfaction with lawyers in general and how quickly a New York minute slows down when property is involved.

Decided to see if the bank lawyers had their schitt together & find out that they need to see evidence of insurance by tomorrow at noon (it was about 3:30 when they called back to tell me this) in order to make the Thurs closing… Great, thanks for the heads up in advance — thankfully this angle was already taken care of.

After everything is said and done, it looks like everything’s on track, in spite of what seems like the best efforts of all the asshats involved.